Special dates: "It's been two years since ..."
Birthdays, deaths, anniversaries.
Yesterday marked the beginning of a season of Milestone markers for me. This was the week last year that my life literally was shaken and changed. Over this past year my faith has been tested and strengthened, challenged, discouraged, broken, and redeemed. God has been so undeniable in so many moments.
I keep getting the slightly increasing strong "suggestion" from others that I should be documenting this. "Have you been writing all of this down?" "You probably want to journal this so you can remember when you are struggling."
I have documented some but honestly, with everything going on, I just did not have the energy or ability to focus on the task at hand. And I was acting like a stubborn booger - stomping my foot just a little. ;)
In some aspects, I think I wanted to ignore some of the struggle and pain. And MOVE on. Funny how God uses our reflection on experience and pain and turns it into purpose.
As this week begins.
Now "it's time."
Not ironic at all that my tattoo on my left wrist states "Selah" meaning: "to stop and reflect" "pause; wait for the next chapter" .... "just hang." You get the point.
I am headed into a season of many of those milestone "stop.reflect." moments.
YESTERDAY, I found myself emotionally in a space of remembrance, grief and celebration. As these moments and milestones happen, I have the desire to share each reflection as it happens. Not only will we get to celebrate together, but see the redemption that has already come about as each one arises.
MONDAY, JUNE 24, 2013
I felt a prompting to attend a prayer and healing room. For no known reason. I even remember filling out a "why are you here?" form. I simply wrote.. "I don't know, I just felt led." God knew.
I would head into a time of awesome prayer and I would have a word of encouragement about standing up in my faith and becoming a warrior, and that I would be sharing with thousands of people. What? Me? No, thanks. Not my comfort zone.
NEXT, someone would slip me a paper that says "Where the spirit of The Lord is, there is Freedom."
This person had no idea that I sing that song over my home all of the time, claiming freedom for myself and strengthening my ability to own my identity in Christ.
That night, I dreamed that I was with my community of women that I "do life" with on a regular basis. We were in apocalyptic-like times and were under attack by wolves, spiders, hunters, t-rex.. scary things. In the dream, I went out into the world during the day to seek safety for night time and places that we should try to get to in order to be safe. In part of the dream, I was with a friend in my car and she was driving (I was lying in the back seat). It was almost as if I was sick. We were stopped by a man and he told us that we would not be free to exit the area until January 13th. My response was that could not be possible because I had to work the weekend of July 27th. At the very end of the dream a giant spider came up and stung the bottom of my left foot. And then I woke up.
Knowing that dreaming about dates is important, I made sure to note this and keep an eye out. There were also some specific details, such as looking at my friend and telling her that she was pregnant and going to have a boy.
SPOILER ALERT: that happened.
I look forward to continuing the process of seeing more in depth revelation as each milestone passes in the season ahead.